Sibling rivalry isn’t uncommon. It’s been portrayed in movies and television shows, and you may have even dealt with it between your siblings as you grew up. But, when it becomes too much, sibling rivalry can create a rift between your children and cause more family drama than necessary.
How can you calm the arguments between your teenage children? What can you do to keep the peace?
More importantly, what can you do now that can help to encourage and foster a healthier relationship between your kids for years to come?
1. Keep Calm
It’s easy to feel riled up when your teenagers are continually arguing. You might find yourself yelling, punishing one (or both) of them, or getting involved in the argument’s escalation.
Remember, it’s not your battle, and you should be there to put out fires, not add fuel. Before you step in, make sure you are calm and remain that way to talk to both of your teens.
2. Practice Active Listening
Once you get involved, make sure you’re genuinely listening to what happened to find out the truth about what’s going on.
Avoid defending one teen over another, and try not to jump in with your own opinions right away. Instead, listen — try to get the most precise picture possible of what started the argument in the first place. When you do that, you’ll be able to respond from a more neutral standpoint.
3. Promote Having Fun
Sometimes, your teens might frequently be arguing because they feel disconnected from each other. Maybe they don’t think they have a lot in common. But, that may not be true.
Suggest that the two of them do something fun together to combat that kind of disconnect. Go out and do something as a family. By bonding together and showing your teens that they can have fun together, it might reduce tension between them and trigger less fighting.
4. Get to the Root of the Problem
Pain and insecurities in one (or both) teens often cause sibling rivalries. Maybe they are jealous of their sibling. Perhaps their sibling is bullying them.
Whatever the case, it’s essential to get to the root of the problem between your older children as soon as possible. When you do, you can start to work toward a better relationship between them.
Your teenagers might not always want to talk to you about their feelings. That’s especially true if they are insecure or feel embarrassed by their own emotions. So, pay attention to any warning signs you might see. Reach out to your teen to ask how they’re doing, rather than waiting for them to come to you.
5. Seek Therapy for Your Teens
If nothing you do seems to help the ongoing rivalry between your teenagers, therapy might be the best answer.
A therapist can help you and your teenagers. Therapy will allow your teens to express themselves freely in a neutral setting. Because of that, a therapist can get to the bottom of what might be causing the rivalry.
A therapist can also provide helpful suggestions to stop the rivalry and help get to the root of the problem, increasing peace within your household.
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If you feel like you don’t know what to do about the constant arguing and fighting between your teenage kids, please contact us. Your teens aren’t doomed to dislike each other forever. Working out their issues now can help them form a more substantial, loving relationship as they grow into adults. Serenity EFTC offers family therapy in Colorado.