If you’re like most people then you trust your gut. Right now, it’s saying that your relationship is going nowhere.
Your partner has been distant, perhaps. Plus, you might have noticed a significant decrease in your connection lately. That’s hard to admit to yourself.
Nobody likes to think that their relationship has no future. Sometimes, it can make you feel powerless to do anything about the situation. Worse yet, you might feel like a failure.
Yet, none of this has to be a reality. There are things that you can do to change course with your relationship. Here’s how.
Be Different
It’s time to look at the relationship from a different perspective, do something unique than you had before. Mostly because what’s been happening up until now isn’t working. So mix things up!
One way to do this is by examining your routine. For instance, do you and your partner come home at the end of the day only to eat leftover take-out from the night before?
Why not change that by cooking a meal together? On the weekends, are you both doing activities on your own, separate from each other? Try doing something together!
Have Fun
Fun is vital for any relationship. If you are not having fun with your partner, then that will undoubtedly have an impact. Try doing things together that are fun and enjoyable. Even better, step out of your comfort zones. Try something that is both different and fun for both of you.
Remember that novelty is exciting. When you do something novel and enjoyable with your partner, you create a more reliable connection with them.
If you are stuck in the same everyday routine, that will weaken that bond. Part of what makes being in a relationship rewarding is having a partner to share and enjoy different life experiences.
Turn Off Your Phones
A cell phone is an indispensable tool for the 21st century. At the same time, it kills relationships mainly because it’s easy to get distracted by what’s on your phone.
It might be watching a video, scrolling through social media, or playing a game. Regardless of why you are doing on your phone, the effect is still the same. You are no longer present with your partner.
Instead, you (or perhaps both of you simultaneously) are off in a digital world. Both of you might be in the same physical space, but mentally you are in very different worlds.
This approach means that neither of you is forging a stronger connection together. So, put down the phone. Designate particular areas of your home as device-free, and know when it’s time to turn it off.
Talk About the Future Together
One big reason why relationships stall is because you’re not talking about the future regularly. Specifically, a future with the two of you together. Marriage is often one societal benchmark about how your future might appear. However, other topics can include:
- Buying a home together
- Having children
- What you will do in 5-10 years
- Retirement
These are all important topics to talk about together. If you are avoiding these issues, then it might be time to ask why.
Get Outside Help
It might be that you and your partner need to get professional help on this issue. Talking to a therapist is useful when it comes to relationship issues. Therapy gives you both the space to talk about what’s on your mind.
The therapist will be able to moderate the discussion to help both of you stay on track and not get distracted. It’s a chance to focus, for that hour, on the relationship and how to make things better.
Also, therapy could be the time when you both realize that maybe this isn’t going to work out. That’s okay! It means that the relationship has reached its conclusion and that it’s time for both of you to set your sights in new directions.
——————–
When you feel that your relationship is going nowhere, realize that there are steps that you can take to address the issue. For professional support, you can contact us today. Serenity EFTC provides couples counseling in Colorado. We can help guide you and your partner toward a more productive future.