Bringing two cultures into one relationship is a beautiful, incredible thing. It can add enrichment to your relationship, and you can actively learn more about each other, your backgrounds, and different things that are important in one another’s lives.
But different cultures can also sometimes clash. You might think something is typical or traditional. But if your partner doesn’t see it that way, it could lead to tension or even arguments.
The most important thing to do is to listen and learn. Learning more about your partner’s culture (and vice versa) can help you both to understand your difference. That starts with knowing how to communicate and how to compromise as a couple.
Ask Cultural Questions
Asking questions about your partner’s culture can make a big difference in particular situations. Don’t be afraid to get detailed. And don’t wait for something to occur that you’re not used to.
Instead, ask them how their culture handles a specific issue or celebrate a specific holiday. In a variety of cultures, men and women are often treated differently, too. Make sure you know their expectations and how you might have to compromise if those beliefs don’t necessarily line up with your own.
It’s also a good idea to encourage your family to ask questions or educate them as much as possible. The goal isn’t to make someone from a different cultural background feel different; it is to make them feel understood. You are equals in your relationship. But it takes time to learn about new, unfamiliar things. Asking clear-cut questions is one of the easiest ways to do that.
Challenge Your Thoughts/Stereotypes
Even if you’re not familiar with your partner’s culture, you’ve probably heard things about it. That can cause you to form opinions, even if they aren’t real or accurate. Conversely, your partner may have certain beliefs about your culture that are inaccurate too.
No one has to believe something about a specific culture just because it’s what you’ve always been told. Be willing to change your opinions based on reality and facts. Don’t let the stereotypes you’ve learned drive a wedge into your relationship.
Be Humble and Willing to Sacrifice
It takes humility to step away from some of the things you know to compromise with your partner over cultural differences. All relationships require certain sacrifices. But when you come from different backgrounds, you may need to be willing to humble yourself even more. Don’t automatically assume your traditions and ways of doing things are “right.”
Humbling yourself for your partner not only shows that you’re willing to compromise, but it shows respect. It demonstrates that you are dedicated to your relationship and them.
There Is No Superior Culture
Maybe you were born in Chicago, and your partner was born in Hong Kong. Perhaps you grew up in Ireland, and your partner grew up in Canada. Whatever the case, there is no superior culture. Learning about one another’s cultural differences is essential.
Of course, that doesn’t mean allowing one culture to “take over.” Don’t correct your partner all the time when it comes to the right way of doing things. If doing something culturally-specific interests them, you can guide them and help them. But avoid letting your cultural norms take over the relationship.
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Bringing two different cultures into one relationship can be very enriching. You’ll gain a perspective on the world that you may not have had before. But it’s essential to learn how to communicate and compromise. Practice open-mindedness and respect to your partner to accept and encourage those differences.
If you’re in a relationship where you both have different cultural backgrounds, and you’re struggling to communicate, contact us today. Together, we can work on ways to compromise, while still respecting each of your unique cultures. Serenity EFTC offers couples counseling in Colorado.