Though there may be a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to the pandemic, most people have still spent the past year “stuck” at home. If you have more than one child, that can lead to a lot of sibling conflict, squabbling, and arguments.
This is a stressful time for everyone, and families have had to learn how to adjust and readjust with everything from work schedules to e-learning.
While it’s not surprising that siblings in your household would clash from time to time, it also doesn’t make it okay.
No one wants to see their children constantly at odds with one another. So, what can you do to de-escalate sibling conflict and stop the quarreling at home?
Give Proactive Attention
When you have multiple kids, it can feel like they’re constantly fighting for your attention and never getting enough. So, get ahead of the game by being proactive in the attention you give them.
At least once each day, spend time with each child individually. Even if it’s just 10-15 minutes of talking or doing something they enjoy, make sure all the focus is on them. When your children don’t have the drive to fight for your attention, they’re less likely to argue with each other in order to get it.
Schedule Sibling Quality Time
Just as your kids need attention from you, they need attention from each other, too.
It might seem counter-productive to make your children spend more time together if they aren’t getting along. But scheduling out that time for them can actually be very beneficial. One child may not feel like they’re getting enough attention from their sibling(s). That can cause them to act out in order to get it.
When that time is scheduled, even if it’s just for a few minutes, it can eliminate the need to act out for attention, and strengthen your children’s bond all at once.
Don’t Step in Right Away
Your first instinct as a parent will probably be to step in right away when an argument is going on between your kids. But try to hold off if things aren’t escalating quickly or getting out of hand. Listen in to what they’re saying and doing. Don’t separate your kids or yell at them if they’re working through their thoughts and feelings.
If you give them the chance to resolve things on their own, they will learn how to communicate effectively with one another. The next time they have a conflict, they’ll be better equipped to handle it and de-escalate it before it gets too serious. These are skills they can use in other relationships throughout their lives, too.
If they don’t seem to be working things out, don’t let your first instinct be to punish them. Step in and acknowledge the problem. Say something like, “I see you two are having a disagreement. Tell me about it.”
You might get two different sides of the story, at first. However, by talking it out and showing your children that the conflict can be resolved calmly, you’re giving them a road map for how to handle such things in the future.
Kids are struggling with the impact of this pandemic just as much as you are. They’re bored, they miss their friends, and they miss their routines. So, conflicts between siblings are bound to arise when you’re spending more time at home.
When you work to de-escalate them in a healthy, effective way, you can create a more peaceful environment. As a bonus, you’ll teach your children a few life skills that they’ll carry with them forever. Contact Us Today to learn how to de-escalate conflict with our trained therapists. Serenity EFTC offers counseling services for teens, children, and for the family.