3 Tips for Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety impacts about 40% of adults in the U.S.—at least, to some degree. It can occur thanks to a variety of triggers. Some people have a fear of being on stage. Others get nervous speaking in front of crowds. Some people experience sexual performance anxiety in the with their partner(s).

Whatever the case, it’s important to know that if you struggle with this type of anxiety, it doesn’t have to last forever.

Let’s cover three tips you can put into practice right away to start to overcome performance anxiety and feel more confident doing things out of your comfort zone.

1. Be Prepared

Life is often unpredictable, and you’ll never be able to practice a hundred times for every situation.

However, one of the best ways to combat performance anxiety is to feel more confident in what you’re doing. That requires practice and preparation.

If you have to give a speech, for example, rehearse it multiple times. Do it in front of a mirror, and then in front of a family member or close friend. Ask for feedback and don’t be afraid to make changes that make you feel more comfortable.

Things like sexual performance anxiety can be a little different. However, you can “prepare” yourself by talking with your partner(s) ahead of time. Discuss your wants, needs, and each other’s expectations. The more vulnerable you are with each other, the more confident you’ll feel.

The old saying “practice makes perfect” rings true in many ways, and the more you’re able to practice something, the less overwhelming and scary it will feel.

2. Try Relaxation Techniques

Performance anxiety can start to feel like a vicious cycle if you let it take over. The more nervous you are about performing, the more your anxious thoughts will run wild. The more anxious those thoughts become, the more likely it will be for some of those fears to come true.

Before you have to perform, consider trying different relaxation techniques. Some of the best include mindfulness and meditation, but simple deep breathing exercises can also help.

Additionally, it’s a good rule of thumb to practice stress management. When you reduce your overall stress, you’re less likely to let it fuel your anxious thoughts when it comes time to perform. Try things like exercising or journaling to manage your stress levels on a regular basis.

3. Focus On What You Can Control

Every day, we have to face thousands of things that are completely out of our control. When you have to perform in any capacity, it can feel like there are even more factors you can’t do anything about. Your anxiety will try to get you to focus on those things and become even more fearful about what you have to do. Instead of focusing on those things, try to keep your mind on the things you can control.

For example, if you have to give a presentation at work, you might not be able to control the Wi-Fi connection, so something could go wrong with your technology. However, you can control how prepared you are, so you can continue with your presentation even if the Internet goes down. If you have to give a speech, you might not be able to control if people are interested or not. But you can control your energy levels and the way in which you present yourself. Similarly, during sexual performance you can attempt to control your responses to the situations that may arise and you can work on that with your partner(s).

Focusing on what you can control will boost your confidence and help with negative self-talk, so you’ll be less anxious while you perform. If you struggle with sexual performance anxiety, it’s important to know you can overcome it. Feel free to Contact Us for more information about Sex Therapy, Couples Counseling or to set up a complimentary consultation with one of our skilled therapists.