Many people who get into a relationship with another person expect things to be monogamous. When one partner has sexual encounters outside of that relationship, it’s considered infidelity. The scope of today’s standard relationships is changing. People are exploring different arrangements that work for them, including consensual non-monogamy (CNM).
Consensual non-monogamy is the practice of intimate and sexual acts outside of a singular relationship that are consensual and acknowledged by everyone involved.
These relationships aren’t to be confused with infidelity, which is why it’s so important to focus on the consensual aspect. Let’s dive a little deeper into what consensual non-monogamy looks like, and why it’s growing in popularity.
What Are the “Rules” of CNM?
It’s very important for all partners involved in a consensual non-monogamous relationships to be on the same page. There are no set “rules” involved, except for the ones that each partner makes and agrees to together.
Everyone needs to be able to define what they consider acceptable and what they might consider inappropriate. That’s what establishes trust, builds healthy boundaries, and allows everyone involved to feel cared for, desired, and loved.
Consensual non-monogamy covers many different types of relationships, from swingers to polyamorist participants. That’s why rules are so important for each individual involved.
What Are the Benefits?
When all parties involved have the freedom to explore other relationships, there’s often less tension, stress, and fewer demanding expectations. Some studies have even shown that consensual non-monogamy can be very healthy when done well. It can lead to high levels of:
- Satisfaction
- Intimacy
- Passion
- Love
Partners in these relationships also tend to have better communication. Openness and vulnerability are necessary to ensure everyone remains on the same page with needs, wants, and boundaries. This kind of consistent communication also boosts intimacy and can make the relationship feel stronger, even with multiple parties involved.
Finally, these relationships often make it easier to “breathe.” You might not have commitment issues, but have a hard time feeling close to one person in a relationship. When you have multiple partners, it’s hard to feel suffocated by any one person. That can help to boost your intimacy and desire while making it easier to manage your mental well-being.
Who Is Consensual Non-Monogamy For?
As you might expect, it’s easy for consensual non-monogamy to be stereotyped in many ways. Some people consider it taboo. Others have a hard time believing it’s not cheating. But, there’s no certain “type” of person who is a perfect candidate for CNM.
If you tend to have trust issues or get jealous easily, it might not be the right lifestyle for you. However, if you’re open to new experiences, sexual health, and you want a loving relationship with as much openness as possible, it could be something worth exploring.
A lot of your interest (or lack thereof) will come from certain personality traits. However, CNM can be for anyone who is open to it, even if you’re just willing to test the waters due to curiosity.
Should You Consider Consensual Non-Monogamy?
This relationship choice isn’t for everyone.
As you can see, there are clear benefits involved when it comes to CNM, but it’s important to make sure you’re thinking everything through before deciding if it’s the right lifestyle for you. If you struggle with jealousy, you might think it’s “off limits.” The best thing you can do before deciding if CNM is right for you is to educate yourself on it as much as possible. If you want to learn more, feel free to Contact Us to meet with our therapist trained in Sex Therapy, Hayley Evans.