Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) isn’t only beneficial for couples, but people in relationships do make up a large portion of those who seek out its benefits. With that in mind, however, it’s important to understand some of the basics of EFT and how it can help your relationship before deciding whether it’s right for you.
Emotionally focused therapy is designed to help improve communication within a relationship while strengthening bonds and building better connections.
It can specifically help couples move from feelings of isolation within the relationship to strong feelings of connection and even intimacy.
Let’s take a closer look at the kinds of couples that can benefit most from EFT, so you can determine if it’s the best solution for your relationship.
Couples Struggling with Conflict
Some conflict in a relationship is normal. In fact, arguments can be healthy when they’re done the right way. However, if continuous conflicts are causing constant problems in your relationship, it could be a sign that something deeper is going on beneath the surface.
Those conflicts are often the result of negative patterns within the relationship. These patterns typically form in childhood based on the attachment style you developed with your parents/caregiver. Your attachment style can influence how you see relationships, as well as your behavior within those relationships.
When you have negative emotions that you’re not working through or even fully understanding, you can’t expect them to change. Unfortunately, these harmful patterns will continue to create conflict unless they’re addressed. EFT gets to the root cause, making it easier to identify those patterns so you can break them.
Couples Dealing with Communication Issues
If there’s conflict in your relationship, a lot of it probably stems from communication problems. Communication is a huge factor in successful, healthy relationships. While it’s okay to have different communication styles, it’s not okay to adopt unhealthy ways of trying to connect — or simply avoid communication completely.
When you feel like there’s a lack of healthy communication in your relationship, EFT can help by focusing on improving empathy and promoting emotional expression.
Chances are, you don’t want to purposely hurt your partner (or vice versa). You just might not know how to put yourself in their shoes. Or, you might not know how to express your true emotions to them or understand theirs, in return.
A lot of those issues can stem from the same childhood attachment bonds we touched on earlier. The attachments you feel with people can directly impact the way you communicate with them. So, you might feel the need to be standoffish. Or, you might feel like you have to constantly “check in” or give in to your partner’s demands because you aren’t sure how to speak up for yourself.
Secure attachment leads to healthier communication, and EFT can help with that.
Couples Feeling Disconnected
In addition to improving communication and helping you break negative patterns in your relationship, EFT can help to boost your emotional attachment with your partner. There’s no question we live in a busy world, and it’s easy to feel detached at times. Struggling with conflicts and miscommunication doesn’t help.
It’s not always easy to break down barriers and reconnect as a couple on your own. When you work with an EFT professional, you’ll get to the root cause(s) of the relationship issues you’re facing. You’ll also learn the skills necessary to overcome them — both in sessions and on your own.
If you’re interested in learning more about emotionally focused therapy and how it can help your relationship, don’t hesitate to Contact Us for information. The attachment style you developed as a child doesn’t have to dictate the rest of your life or your relationships forever. You can learn more about Couples Counseling.