Beyond Behaviors: What Your Child’s Actions Are Really Telling You
Think of the last time you acted out. Maybe you snapped at your spouse, said hurtful words to a friend, or even yelled at your child.
Now, think about why you behaved that way. Sure, maybe those individuals frustrated you. Chances are there were some underlying factors that contributed. It could’ve been a bad day at work or a lot of stress in your life.
Children experience the same emotions and hardships in different ways. Unfortunately, it’s easier to look at their behaviors as something on the surface, rather than diving deeper into what their actions really mean.
So, how can you look beyond the surface behaviors of your child and develop a greater understanding of what those behaviors might really tell you?
Trouble With Transitions
Do you have a hard time getting your child to listen? Maybe it’s a fight every morning for them to get ready for school. Or maybe they don’t want to turn off the TV at night to go to bed. These are everyday situations that can end up causing major headaches when you have to go through them again and again.
Have you ever wondered why these simple things seem like such a struggle to your child?
They could have trouble dealing with transitions—even minor ones.
You can help them by preparing them for things as much as possible. For example, if your child struggles to get ready for school, consider creating a picture chart of all the things they need to accomplish in the morning in order to get ready. It might include things like:
- Getting dressed
- Eating breakfast
- Brushing teeth
- Doing chores
When your child has a clear vision of what to expect and things they can “check off”, that transition from home to school might not feel so overwhelming.
If you know the things your child fights you on every day, preparing them ahead of time can make those transitions much easier.
Endless Energy and Motion
Some children just don’t seem to sit still. It’s easy to blame on boundless youthful energy, and some people even expect it.
But, if your child simply won’t stay still, it can become a problem. They might climb on things, run around in public, or even end up hurting themselves by moving too much in different environments.
They might not be moving just to “act up”.
Some children just need to move around more than others. One simple way to handle that is to give them opportunities to move that are safe and appropriate. That might include spending more time outside with them each day. Or consider signing them up for anything from swimming lessons to gymnastics.
When you give them opportunities to move, they may not feel so restless and act out at inappropriate times.
Taking On Tantrums
No parent wants to deal with a temper tantrum, but some children seem to “throw” them frequently. Your instinct might be to punish them. But it’s important to ask yourself if there are any underlying factors to their behaviors.
The next time your child throws a tantrum, note your surroundings. Where are you, who are you with, and what triggered it? You might find that your child is more susceptible to meltdowns when they’re hungry or when they got little sleep the night before. By observing their tantrums for a week or so, you can pick up on patterns that may be contributing.
It’s very rare that a child acts up “just because”. Most children want to please their parents and live in a happy, calm environment. So, if you’re concerned about their behaviors, start paying more attention to what could cause them. When you do, you can make positive, effective changes that are better for both of you. For further information on how play therapy can help click here to contact us.