Blended families are becoming more prominent. It’s estimated that over 2,000 of them will form every day in the U.S., and that can be a beautiful thing.
But, for as popular and common as blended families are becoming, that doesn’t mean the challenges associated with one don’t still exist. There are different dynamics for every blended family, so each situation is unique.
With that in mind, you know your children better than anyone. They might seem okay with the transition—even excited about it! But change can be difficult for anyone. Helping your kids adjust to the new lifestyle is important.
It will create a better environment for the entire family and let your kids know just how important they still are in your life.
So, how can you help them adjust to this new experience?
Practice Patience Every Day
It’s tempting to want to force a positive relationship between your children and step-children. But that is rarely the best approach, especially if you have teenagers. Let your kids “feel out” the situation for themselves, instead.
Take things slowly and allow your kids to interact with the other children in the family on their terms. If there is conflict, you can step in. Otherwise, letting things move at a comfortable pace will make things better for everyone. Don’t force family outings or relationships between all the kids. They can make things uncomfortable, and likely won’t work.
Be Accessible to Your Kids
Make sure that your “original” family unit remains strong. Your children may need you now more than ever. They might want to talk to you alone without your new spouse/partner present, and that’s okay.
Being open to communicate with your kids will give them a sense of comfort and familiarity. They’re more likely to talk to you about what they’re feeling or struggling with when they know they’re just dealing with you.
Focus On Being a Unit—Slowly
Over time, it’s important to integrate your family together with the right approach. If you’re all living under one roof, that means a few different things.
First, it means that rules need to be established for the whole household. They don’t apply to just certain people, but everyone. It’s something you should discuss with your partner before bringing up to the kids.
Second, don’t be afraid to hold “family meetings”. They might sound corny, but they’re one of the best ways to make sure everyone in your larger family is on board with what’s going on.
There is no confusion, and it allows your kids to be a part of the discussion. They can ask questions and get the direct answers they want.
Let Them Help With Decisions
If your child is struggling with the idea of moving or becoming part of a blended family, make them a part of the process. Give them a house tour of your new place. Or, if you’re staying put, ask them for their input on the bedroom situation. Where would they like to stay? Would they like to share their room?
One of the worst things you can do is force certain aspects of the transition on your kids. For example, don’t just tell them they’ll be sharing their room with their new step-sibling. If you have a space issue, that’s understandable. But letting your child help you with a solution will make the process easier on them.
Transparency is often an important key to raising a blended family successfully. No one wants to feel like they’re being left in the dark or left out of important family decisions. Whether your kids are excited about having new siblings or they’re hesitant about the idea of a blended family, these tips can make things easier.
Family therapy can help with the transition as well as working on adjusting the the situations . Contact us for more information or to set up an appointment with one of our highly skilled therapists. Serenity EFTC offers family therapy in Colorado.