The holiday season is meant to be a time of togetherness. Even though things might look a little different this year, most people are still trying to find ways to stay connected.
But the holidays can also be a time of stress. If you don’t set boundaries for your extended family, you might rush around, doing things that feel overwhelming, and not having the time to actually enjoy the season.
No matter what your plans for this holiday season might be, it’s important to have those boundaries in place now. Doing so will help you manage your stress levels, keep everyone safe, and take the time to enjoy yourself.
With that in mind, let’s cover five tips you can use to set boundaries with your family this season.
1. Consider Your Needs
Before setting boundaries, think about your needs, and the needs of your immediate family. Again, this year those needs might be different. So consider them carefully.
Maybe you have a little one who can’t be out and about all day. Maybe you have a compromised immune system and can’t be around large crowds. Or maybe you’re already feeling anxious and overwhelmed and want your holiday to be more relaxed.
The clearer you can define your needs to yourself, the easier it will be to express them to other members of your family.
2. Be On the Same Page As Your Immediate Family
If you’re married or live with your partner, it’s important that you be on the same page with your boundaries. You want to be a united front as you talk to your extended family.
So, if you’re clashing on what those needs are or what you think your boundaries should be, try to find a middle ground. If you’re not on the same page, you won’t be able to express your boundaries to your family clearly.
3. Don’t Communicate at the Last Minute
Make sure to communicate your plans to your extended family well in advance. Don’t wait until the day before an event or get-together to talk to them about your boundaries and expectations.
The further in advance you can express those boundaries, the more time your family will have to accept them. They can ask questions, and you can explain without feeling as though you’re “changing” anyone else’s holiday plans.
4. Do One “Big” Thing
If your holidays feel overwhelming because of a packed schedule, commit to one “large” family event, and don’t overload yourself with a dozen smaller ones. Again, if things are different this year and you aren’t getting together with your extended family, you can still commit to something like a long Zoom meeting or a virtual family dinner.
You can take this one step further by hosting such an event. That allows you to keep your boundaries by putting you in control.
Make sure your family is aware that this is the event you’re committing to and follow through on that commitment as fully as possible.
5. Take Time for Yourself
It’s also important to let your extended family know that you’ll be taking time for yourself and your immediate family this season.
The holidays should be a time of peace and togetherness. But that means spending quality time with the people who live with you, too. By setting boundaries with others, you can enjoy that quality time with your partner and/or your kids.
You can also enjoy some alone time to relax, practice self-care, and find moments of tranquility amid an otherwise hectic season.
—-
As you work your way through the holidays this year, keep these tips in mind. Setting boundaries can help you feel more relaxed, so you can enjoy what the season offers no matter how different it may be.
Contact us if you need additional support with setting boundaries with extended family. Serenity EFTC provides family therapy in Colorado.