Intimacy is something that can’t be forced or faked. It’s also an important factor in a relationship. While many people automatically associate intimacy with something sexual, that isn’t necessarily the case.
Rather, intimacy is a feeling of strong connection and closeness. You can certainly have sexual intimacy, but you can (and should) also experience emotional intimacy in a relationship. But you might be hesitant when it comes to that kind of closeness. Maybe you were burned in a past relationship. Maybe you have intimacy issues stemming from a young age.
Whatever the case, your hesitation can be overcome, and you can enjoy an intimate relationship moving forward. Let’s cover a few helpful ideas you can put into practice right away.
Understand Your Hesitation
The first step in overcoming your hesitation is understanding it. Think about situations and events in your life that might make you hesitant to open yourself up, emotionally.
Again, maybe it’s something that happened in your childhood. Someone breaking your trust at an early age or dismissing your emotions can lead to attachment issues, which can impact intimacy.
It could also have to do with other adult relationships you’ve experienced. Vulnerability in relationships is hard. When someone betrays you or doesn’t put forth as much effort with their own vulnerability, you might become “gun shy” about deepening connections in the future.
Be Self-Compassionate
Some people are hesitant when it comes to intimacy because they don’t value themselves the way they should.
You might feel like there is something “wrong” with you because you can’t show your partner the intimacy you think they deserve. Maybe you’ve been in relationships where people have left because of your lack of intimacy.
Don’t let those issues trick you into thinking you’re somehow unworthy of a healthy, strong relationship. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Be patient, and ask your partner to have patience with you, too.
Communicate Effectively
Communication is important for nearly every aspect of a relationship. But, it’s especially necessary when you’re hesitant (or even fearful) about intimacy. That hesitance can cause confusion within your relationship and even make your partner feel hurt or rejected when that isn’t your intent.
Communication can often lead to more openness and vulnerability. It can show you that it’s okay to be emotionally intimate without the fear of judgment. Try talking about your hesitation or fears and where they come from. Let your partner know what you need and what they can do to help.
If you aren’t sure what they can do or what the solution is to overcome those hesitations just yet, assure them that your concerns don’t stem from them or your relationship, and accept their help and support as they walk beside you.
Talk to a Professional
The idea of talking to a therapist about intimacy issues might seem overwhelming. But, it’s often one of the best ways to overcome those issues.
It’s not always easy to dig into your past and discover where your hesitation comes from. A therapist can help you do that in a comfortable, safe setting. Once you’re able to get to that place and recognize where the hesitation began, you can start to truly heal.
When you work with a professional, you don’t have to walk through that journey alone. A therapist can offer actionable advice to overcome your hesitation when it comes to intimacy while helping you learn how to take care of yourself along the way.
If you’re hesitant about intimacy, cut yourself some slack. There is nothing wrong with you, and you don’t need to struggle with that hesitation forever. Consider reaching out for help and support. Feel free to Contact Us for more information and to get started today.