The holiday season can be a delightful time of togetherness and celebration.
However, underneath that beauty, financial stress is often lurking and waiting to sabotage your relationships with those who matter most. If arguments about money and spending have darkened your holidays before, there are steps you can take to prepare ahead for this year.
Planning early can help ensure that your holidays contain more of the joy and memories that you want them to.
Set a Budget
Setting a budget for your holiday giving and celebrations may sound a bit Scrooge-like, but it doesn’t have to be.
Work with your family to evaluate what expenditures will come up. This goes beyond family gifts. There’s often travel, restaurants, concerts, Christmas movies, large celebratory meals to prepare, and charitable giving.
Make a long, thorough list of all the expected and even unexpected costs that can occur. Compare that against what you can truly afford. Brainstorm ways to lessen some costs.
Maybe you’ll stream old holiday flicks at home instead of going to performances. If you have loved ones who really need nothing else, perhaps the kids could choose a charity to donate to in their name.
These are just a few ideas to get you started.
Manage Expectations (Including Your Own)
So many arguments in life occur because of different expectations, holiday or otherwise. As is often the case, one partner may want to go full-out at the holidays, but the other partner worries about how they’ll pay for it and wants to keep things simpler.
It’s important to respect each other’s viewpoint and work together ahead of time to find a common ground. Be sensitive to each other’s desires and attitude toward the holidays.
Again, be creative with your approach to taking part in holiday festivities to lessen the financial strain. You don’t have to drain the bank to have a meaningful celebration, but you don’t have to eat rice and beans and forgo gifts, either.
Review communication tips, which are easily found online.
Define What Matters Most
A helpful exercise for a family is to talk about what really matters the most to them during the holidays.
Maybe you’ve been trying to cram in all kinds of things that leave everyone feeling drained and cranky. Do you want to focus on more time together during this season, with less frantic shopping and running? Do you want to challenge yourself to make handmade gifts for each other?
Maybe traveling across the country to see relatives can be scheduled for a different time to cut down on stress.
Quality Over Quantity
Gifts and children can be a tricky combo. Kids see what their friends have, and then they want it, too.
The older they get, the more expensive the gifts get. And many parents love to pack the tree and stockings with as many gifts as they can. They might worry that their kids’ holiday will feel meager and less special if they don’t receive so much stuff.
Sit down to talk with your kids. Be empathetic. Ask them to prioritize their gift list to a few most important things. Ask grandparents and other relatives if they might chip in for the larger things as a group gift.
Focus on quality gifts, not just hordes of cheap fillers that will be tossed aside and forgotten within a month.
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The holidays may look a little different this year because of the pandemic. However, there will still be plenty of opportunities to spend money.
With planning and patience, you can avoid disruptive arguments about money.
If holiday financial stress continues to be an issue, it may be a sign of underlying issues with communication within your relationship. Consider contacting us for help on guiding you through your disagreements. Serenity EFTC offers couples counseling in Colorado.