Most people associate grief with the loss of a loved one. However, grief can occur when you’re going through any kind of loss. Some people grieve after losing a job. Many people felt grief throughout the COVID-19 pandemic as they “lost” a sense of normalcy. It’s also common to experience grief after going through a divorce.
Even if it’s the best thing for your well-being, it’s never easy to go through a divorce. No one gets married believing things aren’t going to work out. No matter how “bad” your marriage may have gotten, it was still a significant part of your life, and it’s okay to grieve the fact that it’s over.
Thankfully, there are things you can do to make the grieving process easier on yourself, and work through it more effectively.
Let’s look at a few tips for coping with post-divorce grief that you can start putting into practice right away.
Grief After Divorce: Be Self-Compassionate
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to play the blame game. You might think about everything your spouse did wrong to cause you both to end up at this point. Unfortunately, after things are finalized, it’s easy to flip those thoughts around and start to blame yourself.
Even if you weren’t in the wrong in your marriage, it’s easy to feel shame and guilt over things. Maybe you’re criticizing yourself for picking the “wrong” person or staying in the marriage too long.
Don’t become your own personal punching bag. If someone you loved was going through a divorce and came to you for support, you wouldn’t criticize them or tell them what they should have done differently. You would comfort them and show compassion. Make sure you’re showing the same kind of compassion to yourself as you move forward.
Grief After Divorce: Acknowledge Your Feelings
You might be glad that the marriage is over and feeling “free” from whatever was causing problems. However, it’s still a loss. You might have given years to that person. You might even feel like you aren’t sure of your own identity anymore.
Don’t feel like you have to hold back those feelings. It’s okay to be sad, frustrated, angry, or even a bit lost. These are all normal responses of grief after divorce which is a big a life transition.
The more you try to push those feelings down, the stronger they’re likely to become. Emotions always demand to be felt. Let them out in healthy, productive ways.
Grief After Divorce: Find Your Support System
Speaking of letting your emotions out, one of the best ways to get through the grieving process is to have people to go through it with you. It’s easy to feel alone after signing those divorce papers and going back to a home that you once shared with your spouse.
This is the time to lean on friends and family for support. Express your feelings, let them be your shoulders to cry on, and stay social so you’re less likely to fall into a depression by staying home alone all the time.
Spending time with people who care about you and doing things you enjoy will serve as a great distraction while reminding you that you have so much to be thankful for in life.
Grief After Divorce: Recognize a New Chapter is Starting
Going through a divorce is like closing a chapter in a book—but not the entire novel. Your ultimate goal through the grieving process should be to continue to move throughout your life, recognizing that your next chapter is just beginning and you’re right where you need to be. You have an exciting life ahead of you, and the sooner you can embrace all of your experiences and emotions, the happier you can become.
If you’re really struggling with grief after divorce, remember you’re not alone. Feel free to Contact Us to schedule a complimentary online consultation, and we’ll work through the grieving process together.