Everyone has those moments when you go home to visit family, and it doesn’t go well. Sometimes, they flat out disappoint you.
Of course, there’s your one uncle whom everyone smiles and rolls their eyes as he talks about how taxes are too high. But what happens when your family disappoints you on a personal level.
Maybe you disclosed something deeply personal, and it didn’t go well at all. Or, you have a disagreement with your family that’s political or religious. That’s challenging, especially when coping with the aftermath.
Here then are three ways to recover when family disappoints.
1. Take Some Space
It helps to take some space for a while whenever there is a fight or disagreement in a relationship. The same is true when it comes to family. You might be angry, and so you need time to cool down and recover. During this time, you could:
- Do some breathing exercises
- Go for a jog or bike ride to blow off some steam
- Take a shower or a soothing bath
- Listen to music
- Go for a long drive alone
These activities allow you to recuperate from the family experience and begin to recover. Even if you live in the same town, or perhaps the same house, you can still take space.
2. Try Not to Force a Change
It can be tempting to slip into the mindset that your family needs to change. And granted, maybe they do. However, you can’t be the one to force that change on them.
Doing so will only add to your frustration, anger, and disappointment towards them. How does any of that help you? It doesn’t. Not at all.
That’s why it can help shift your focus from changing your family to what is genuinely in your control. For example:
- Accepting yourself for who you are and owning your truth
- Having connections with people who care about and accept you
- Leading a healthy lifestyle that includes exercise, nutrition, and getting a good night’s sleep.
- Being willing to take healthy risks in your own life: going on a trip, asking someone out on a date, etc.
Humor will also help you to let go of harsh feelings toward your family. That doesn’t mean that you use humor to hide behind your feelings. Instead, it’s more useful when trying to find acceptance. Humor helps to reverse the inner dialogue you have inside your mind and shift to a more positive and healthier outlook.
3. Talk to Someone About This
When your family lets you down and disappoints, talk to someone about it. Maybe it’s a close friend. Perhaps a family member who understands where you are coming from but isn’t part of the disappointing crowd.
It might surprise you to find out how many people have stories about when their family didn’t rise to the occasion. This knowledge will help you feel less isolated and alone. Also, talking about the situation gets it off your chest. That way, you don’t dwell on it any longer than necessary.
Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, though, it helps to have professional support for these issues. A therapist who understands these dynamics can be helpful. Therapy is an excellent place to vent your frustrations. It is also a reminder to focus back on yourself and how to best take care of you.
Everyone has had moments when their family let them down. It hurts because family should always be there when you need them most—but sometimes life doesn’t play out that way.
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If you are having problems when your family disappoints, try following the tips above. However, don’t hesitate to reach out for help and support from a therapist as well.
Contact us today to learn more about how we can help. Serenity EFTC provides family therapy in Colorado. Whether you attend therapy alone, or with family members, our family relational specialists can provide you with guidance and support with these challenging issues.