Becoming a parent changes you. You have a whole new life to consider, and someone else’s needs to think about — often before your own. Often, the identity shift that happens when you become a parent is a joyful thing. But, if you allow that shift to take over too much, you might start to lose your sense of self.
It’s normal to feel a change in who you are and the things that matter when you become a parent. But, it’s also important to be able to navigate identity shifts in healthy, productive ways. You don’t have to lose who you really are because of your child. In fact, it’s a great time for self-reflection and developing a better understanding of your true values.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at how you can redefine yourself when becoming a parent leads to potential identity shifts.
Considering Your Priorities
Your priorities might change when you become a parent. Things that were once important to you might not seem as meaningful now. You’re likely to reassess what’s important to you now for your child, and that often includes a greater sense of family values and overall well-being for everyone.
You might also start to think about how important it is to prioritize your own health. As a parent, it’s natural to put your child’s needs first. But, remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Practicing self-care every day will not only boost your physical and mental well-being, but it will also help you maintain a sense of self while increasing the chance that you’ll be around to watch your child grow for many years to come.
Feelings of Loss
How could you be feeling a sense of loss and grief when a new life comes into the world? We often associate grief with death, but it can occur due to any type of loss. That includes the lifestyle you had before you became a parent.
This is one reason why so many parents tend to struggle with identity shifts. One day you’re not a parent and the next day you are. No matter how much you prepare for the arrival of your child, everything can feel like it changes in an instant.
So, when you bring your baby home and you’re running low on sleep, your schedule is thrown off, and you don’t have the same freedoms you used to, you might start to grieve the life you used to have. That doesn’t mean you want to go back to that life and it certainly doesn’t reflect on who you are as a parent. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss as you adjust to this new lifestyle, so don’t criticize yourself over the grief you might be experiencing.
Getting Through Identity Shifts
Whether you feel like you’re losing a piece of your old self, your priorities have changed, or you’re trying to figure out who you are now, identity shifts when becoming a parent can be overwhelming at times.
One of the best things you can do to navigate the changes is to acknowledge them. Allow yourself to process the emotions you’re going through, no matter how you feel. Take time for self-reflection so you can feel grounded in the present and determine what really matters to you.
Additionally, don’t hesitate to take time for yourself. You’re still you! Pursuing your interests and hobbies, spending time with friends and family, and maintaining a sense of normalcy is important, and it will help to reduce stress.
If you find that you’re still struggling with identity issues as a new parent, reach out for help. Therapy can be a great way to address these issues while helping you find your sense of self again.