You’ve probably heard before that communication is a significant key to a successful relationship. But, what many people discuss even less is how important communication is for sexual intimacy.
When you communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you’re doing a few things. First, you’re showing trust and vulnerability. Plus, you’re expressing your needs, wants, and desires.
As a result, your partner can feel more comfortable in doing the same thing. That, alone, can create for a more intimate, passionate sex life.
But, there are many reasons why communication is essential for sexual intimacy. Let’s talk more about why it’s so crucial, and how you can actively communicate to experience increased sexual satisfaction and closeness.
Understand Your Goals
If you want to build your sexual intimacy (or intimacy in general) through communication, you should first think about your goals.
Do you just want to express yourself? Do you need to be heard? Are you asking your partner to change something? Or, do you wish to feel more connected?
Having concrete goals in mind can make it more natural for you to open up the doors of communication with your partner. You may already feel vulnerable when talking about your relationship, especially as it relates to your sex life. Thinking about the things you want ahead of time can help you to feel more prepared.
Make Your Communication More Intimate
Talk to your partner about communicating more intimately. Yes, there are ways to do it. Creating that intimacy, even outside of the bedroom, can make your sex life more durable than ever.
Start by setting the right scene. You don’t want to have a vulnerable conversation when one of you is trying to rush out the door, or you’re distracted by something. Talk when it’s quiet, and you can focus on each other. Maybe that’s before or after sex, or perhaps it’s at a different time of day when there are no other distractions.
Ask your partner questions. No matter how long you’ve been together, you might be surprised that there is always something new to learn. Don’t be afraid to ask them about the best part of their day, or ask them for something about them that you still don’t know.
Communication covers nonverbals, too. People always say actions speak louder than words, and there is some truth to that.
Practice touching your partner while you talk to each other. Even subtle, gentle touches can express more than you may realize.
Something as simple as holding hands or giving a back rub can open your partner up, and vice versa. Make these intimate touches a regular part of your more in-depth talks.
Communication Creates Comfort
Communicating effectively with your partner can not only make you both feel more comfortable with one another during sex, but it can also allow you both freedom to explore new things.
When you’re no longer worried about what your partner might think of you, or feel as though you have to hold something back, it can take your sexual intimacy to places you never thought possible.
While sex isn’t everything in a relationship, it can undoubtedly help you to feel closer to each other. That will carry over into other aspects of your relationship, too. It’s a positive cycle of strength and intimacy that can help you to feel stronger as a couple.
If you’re not sure how to communicate with your partner effectively, you’re not alone. Communication can be an issue for many couples, but it’s something that can improve with practice. Contact me to learn more about effective communication, and how communication can help to build your sexual intimacy. I offer couples counseling in Colorado.