Being in a monogamous relationship doesn’t mean your sex life has to feel “stale.” We’ve all heard the stereotypes and jokes about losing the spark, or stories about couples who have been together a long time having a less-than-active sex life. Do you want to improve your relationship?
The good news? They can stay stereotypes and jokes. There doesn’t have to be monotony in your sex life, no matter how long you’ve been with one partner. With a few simple tips, you can keep the spark alive, have fun, and feel more connected to each other than ever.
Keep these tips in mind not just to “spice up” your bedroom activities, but to keep the spark in your relationship every day.
1. Do Something Exciting Together
Often, the “spark” in a relationship feels like it dies because you fall into a routine with your partner. It’s no one’s fault, and it’s often necessary. Routines can be comforting and they help to reduce stress.
But, chances are you didn’t have the same routine when you first started dating. Thankfully, you can bring back those butterflies and the spark that came with them by trying new things with your partner.
Take a cooking class together or go dancing, recreate some “date nights” you used to have, or try something that will get your heart racing. That dopamine boost can put you both “in the mood” and make you feel excited both in and out of the bedroom.
2. Understand Your Needs
Your sexual needs today might not be the same as they were ten years ago. Maybe you’ve never really given much thought to what it is that makes you “tick” from a sexual perspective.
If you’re not able to convey to your partner what you like or dislike, how will they ever know?
With that in mind, if you want to keep the spark in your sex life, it’s important to get in touch with your own sexuality. Think about the times in your life when you were the most turned on. Consider reading a book or watching a movie that excites you in that way and don’t be afraid to be open and vulnerable with your partner about those desires.
3. Be Physical All Day
You can’t expect to barely talk to or touch your partner all day and automatically feel “in the mood” every night.
You can boost intimacy and add something special back to your sex life by introducing more small physical touches into your relationship. Kiss your partner—often. Hug them for longer than a few seconds before they go to work. Hold their hand while you’re watching TV together.
These small touches can go a long way and help you both to feel closer. That closeness will carry over into your sex life, making you more comfortable and open with your bodies.
4. Be Open with Your Sexual Ideas
If you’re worried that your sex life feels monotonous, you’re probably not the only one.
Talk to your partner about your sexual relationship. It doesn’t mean there’s a disconnect between the two of you, and it doesn’t indicate that there are any problems in the relationship itself. Rather, you probably both just need to come up with ways to expand your sexual possibilities.
Consider looking through books or suggesting ideas to each other that you might be interested in taking to the bedroom. Write them down, talk about them, and then determine how willing you both would be to try.
Even discussing things like that can help to boost your “spark,” but putting them into practice will show you that breaking out of your typical sexual routine can make a big difference.
These ideas are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to keeping the spark alive if your sex life feels monotonous. Once you use some of them to reignite your passion, you might find more unique and personal ways to feel more sexually and physically connected to your partner.
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If you’re struggling to connect with your partner or you’re concerned about a lack of communication in your household, consider trying couples counseling. Contact us for more information or to set up an appointment with one of our highly skilled therapists. Serenity Experiential Family Therapy Center offers couples therapy in Colorado.