As the old saying goes, when you marry someone, you also marry their family. Even if you aren’t married to your partner, being in a committed relationship often means spending time with each other’s families and friends—especially around the holidays. The holiday season is known for being busy with family and friends. Navigating holiday obligations with loved ones can be challenging.
You might have work events to attend, a party or two with friends, and traditions you want to keep in place with your family members. But, if you try to fit everything into your schedule, you’re going to wind up feeling burned out. You also might have a hard time sacrificing some of your events for your partner’s, and vice versa.
So, how can you do it? How, as a couple, can you manage multiple holiday obligations and keep everyone happy?
Navigating Holiday Obligations: Communication
Communication is always important in a healthy relationship. However, regular communication is even more essential when you know you might have challenges coming up such as navigating holiday obligations.
By talking about your holiday obligations weeks (or even months) before they happen, you can form a plan with your partner that works for both of you. Prioritize the events that are most important to you and decide where you’re willing to bend for each other.
It’s also okay for both of you to say “no” to certain events if you feel like you’ll be too rushed, stressed, or overwhelmed.
When the holiday season finally arrives, stick to the plan you created and continue communicating. Life happens, and things can change depending on certain circumstances. But it doesn’t need to throw off your relationship. Remain in constant communication to decide what works best for you and your partner.
Navigating Holiday Obligations: Change Traditions
Although you might have a busy schedule over the holidays, it’s usually not company parties or get-togethers with friends that cause issues with couples. Rather, it’s which family you’ll be spending time with.
Some couples are fine with alternating family get-togethers each year, or even on each holiday. Maybe you’ll go to your parents’ house on Thanksgiving and your partner’s family event on Christmas. That’s a fair plan and allows everyone to enjoy each other’s company.
However, if that doesn’t seem to work for you or your families, consider breaking tradition and hosting a holiday gathering yourself. While it may not be a practical solution for everyone, it’s a great way to bring families together and allow everyone to enjoy the special occasion with the people they love. If you have the space for it and want to, you can offer to host the holidays each year.
Some family members might not be okay with changing tradition or going somewhere new and that’s okay. Change is hard and it may be helpful to have more conversations about what’s most important to each of your loved ones during the holiday season.
Remember You’re On the Same Team
At the end of the day, remember to put your relationship first. The holidays can be stressful enough. The last thing your relationship needs is extra contention over holiday obligations. Remember, you’re on the same team and want the same things. You simply might have different ideas on how to get there.
When you’re willing to work together to come up with effective solutions, it’s less likely to cause a strain on your relationship. If you start to notice that you’re arguing about your holiday obligations rather than compromising, it’s time to take a step back and focus on your partnership.
The holidays should be a time to relax and enjoy the company of the people you love. Don’t let obligations keep you from experiencing it to the fullest and don’t let it cause a rift in your relationship. Keep these ideas in mind to manage multiple holiday obligations going forward. You might even end up creating new traditions that everyone loves. If you or your partner want to improve your communication skills, Contact Us for more information about Couples Counseling and Family Therapy.