Cyber-bullying has been an increasing problem in recent years, especially for kids and teens. If you pay attention to news stories or social media, you’ve undoubtedly heard about children who have been bullied online by classmates, peers, or even other teens they’ve never met in person.
What happens when you find out that your teenager is the one doing the bullying? What if they are not a victim, but an instigator?
It’s never an easy realization to make. As a parent, it can stir up feelings you may not fully understand at first. You might immediately feel a combination of angry and embarrassed, but that can quickly lead to disappointment.
Instead of taking your instant feelings out on your teen, it’s essential to know the right way to approach the situation.
How can you approach your teenager and help them to change their behaviors?
Collect Your Thoughts Before You Talk to Your Teen
Before you approach your teenager about the problem, think about how you want to handle it. What outcome are you looking for? Naturally, the bullying needs to stop. However, what do you honestly want to see from your teenager? Maybe they need to change the friends they spend time with, or their hobbies or activities.
Cyber-bullying can often be triggered by other things going on in a teenager’s life. Consider what could be causing them to lash out. Also, think about what needs to change for them to stop.
Another idea is to consider who else could (or should) be involved. You may want to talk to other family members, school guidance counselors, or even a mental health counselor to determine the best approach for changing your teen’s behaviors.
Confront the Problem
Once you have decided to sit your teenager down to talk, you might experience some backlash from them. They are likely to get defensive. They may even deny any wrongdoing or try to justify their actions.
Therefore, the conversation needs to be a calm one. Now that you’ve had time to understand your feelings better and collect your emotions, you should be able to remain calm throughout the conversation, even if your teen gets angry.
Talk to them about their motivation. What caused them to start cyber-bullying, and what are they “getting” out of it? Keep in mind that they may not want to open up — and you can only push so far.
It’s also essential to talk about consequences. As a parent, you can choose whether to put consequences in place immediately or offer a warning if the bullying continues. Appropriate consequences include limited screen time, supervision, and restrictions in their other activities.
The Real Problem With Cyber-bullying
Some parents might think that cyber-bullying is just a “sign of the times” or another way for kids to be kids. However, it’s not that simple. No one should have to accept cyber-bullying.
Many times, those who bully grow accustomed to getting what they want immediately. They do so by sparking fear and intimidating others. When your teenager gets out into the real world, that tactic won’t work in their favor. It could harm their relationships, career, and future.
Bullies are also often more likely to end up with anger issues or criminal records. If you’re like most parents, you don’t want that for your teenager.
If your teen is participating in online bullying, try not to panic. It may not be easy to talk to them about it, especially if they shut themselves down when you bring it up. Remember that getting through this challenging time is possible.
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If you struggle to talk to your teen about this issue, contact us today. We can develop a plan to identify what might be causing your teen to lash out and what can be done to stop it. Teen counseling may be helpful in getting at the root of the problem and guiding them to healthier ways of interacting.