Have you found yourself in a relationship rut? Are you repeating the same patterns and making the same relationship mistakes over and over again?
Sometimes, taking a step back and realizing why those patterns keep happening is the first step in breaking them.
You don’t have to keep falling into the same mistakes for the rest of your life. The right relationship is out there, and you can find the person you’re supposed to be with when you know how to break the cycle of negative patterns. Let’s cover a few tips that can make that easier for you.
Take Stock of Your Dating History
The first step in recognizing you’re repeating the same relationship mistakes is to actually acknowledge what they are.
Maybe you have a “type” that isn’t good for you. Maybe you tend to lose your identity in whoever you’re with. By recognizing those patterns, you can consciously start to change them.
That requires you to take a look back at your dating history. It’s not exactly the most fun activity in the world, and can even bring up some past heartache. But, it’s a necessary first step toward making the right changes.
Re-Evaluate Your Expectations
One of the biggest reasons relationships often continuously fail has a lot to do with unrealistic expectations.
Everyone wants the “Hallmark” romance. But, it’s not usually possible. People tend to put their best foot forward when they start a new relationship. Dates are more romantic. Gestures are grand. The spark between you and the person you’re with couldn’t be more electric.
But, that’s not often sustainable, and it’s important that your expectations reflect that. If you’re trying to hold someone to a standard of perfection that’s impossible to reach, you’re going to be let down every time.
Recognize Your Role
It’s easy to play the blame game when it comes to why your relationships have failed. You might have a type that isn’t good for you or maybe you’re attracted to romantic relationships that you know won’t end well.
But, you can’t completely blame the other person for a relationship falling apart when it keeps happening.
Everyone makes relational mistakes. A relationship not working out isn’t always going to be a 50/50 problem. It’s also very rarely a 100/0 problem. Take a look at your role in your failed relationships. Even if it’s a hard pill to swallow, what have you done in the past that could’ve contributed to break-ups?
What could you do differently in the future?
Don’t Rush Into Things
Some people do better on their own than others. If you’re someone that feels like you always have to be in a relationship in order to be happy, consider taking a break before getting into your next one.
Use that time to re-evaluate your life. Try not to think about relationships for a while. Rather, focus on yourself. Have you lost pieces of yourself to past relationships? If so, it could be a perfect time to “find” them again.
By not rushing into things, you might also start to see what it is you really want in a relationship, and what you need to do to achieve them.
You’re also more likely to stop comparing yourself to others when you take time away from a relationship. When you’re dating someone, it’s easy to compare your relationship to friends, family members, or even people you see on social media. Taking time away lets you see things for what they really are so you can develop a more realistic perspective.
You don’t have to repeat the same relationship mistakes forever. Keep these tips in mind before diving into your next relationship, and it could end up being the healthiest, happiest one of your life. If you and your partner are wanting support navigating patterns/cycles you’re experiencing, Contact Us for more information.