It’s estimated that 15 million U.S. adults are diagnosed with social anxiety every year. Symptoms of social anxiety can range in severity, from shyness and blushing to sweating, nausea, trembling, and an elevated heart rate.
At its core, social anxiety is the fear of social situations. But, that fear often stems from the idea that you might be judged or talked about by other people.
So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a fear of failure — often associated with negative judgment — plays a role in social anxiety, too. Let’s take a closer look at that role, and how the fear of failure shapes social anxiety.
Social Anxiety and Rejection
No one wants to feel rejected, especially by their peers. If you’re in a social setting with people and you’re worried about your thoughts or ideas being shut down somehow, it’s going to cause some fear.
Some people might be able to overcome the fear and eventually feel more comfortable. For others, that fear of rejection completely takes over their thoughts. They can’t get away from the constant worry that someone might be judging them — either silently or to others.
Unfortunately, that fear of rejection can quickly turn inward. Even if no one is really judging you, you might start to judge yourself and the actions you make, the words you say, or even the way you look or dress.
The Need to Be Perfect
Many people with social anxiety are also perfectionists. They spend a lot of time trying to make sure they’re doing everything right, thinking it might reduce their risk of being rejected or looking like a failure.
Unfortunately, perfectionism often comes with its own set of issues. You can become defensive about your actions, you’re likely to become self-critical, and you’re probably never going to feel like you’re “good enough” for anyone or anything.
The worst part? No matter how perfectly you strive to do things, perfectionism often grows on a fear of rejection. It’s a vicious cycle that will cause you to work impossibly hard on things, only to constantly fall short of your own unrealistic standards.
Overcoming Your Fear
If a fear of failure is contributing to your social anxiety, the journey to overcome it is two-fold. First, you have to recognize that your perfectionism is doing more harm than good.
There’s nothing wrong with doing your best or having high expectations for yourself. But, when those expectations become impossible to reach and you’re dangerously critical of everything you do, it’s going to fuel your fear of failure even more. The more worried you are about failing, the more worried you’re likely to be about getting rejected or judged.
Start to work on those things by spending more time around people you’re comfortable with. When you’re trying to overcome social anxiety, being around small groups of people who build you up can help. They’ll allow you to realize that you don’t need to be perfect to be valuable or important.
It can also be helpful to learn stress-reduction skills, so your fear of failing in social situations doesn’t take over every time you’re around people. Things like deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness are all fantastic ways to keep stress at bay and stay focused on the present.
Finally, practice self-care. Daily wellness routines can play a positive role in helping you realize your worth and your potential. They can greatly reduce your fear of failure. Everything from getting enough sleep to exercising every day can make a difference, so don’t hesitate to make time for yourself.
If you’re still struggling with social anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. You deserve a life free from the fear of failure. It’s possible to achieve that with the right professional support. Contact Us to set up a complimentary consultation or to learn more information about anxiety.