No one wants to think about trauma in childhood. Kids deserve to live safe, healthy, happy lives with those charged with caring for them.
Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Childhood trauma is very real and more common than most people think. It can be physical or emotional, and lead to lifelong consequences.
The effects of trauma from an early age can also influence attachment and relationship-building. It can make it difficult for the child who experienced trauma to form healthy connections. Those issues often carry over into adulthood and can have a negative impact on relationships until the trauma is properly addressed.
Let’s take a closer look at trauma’s influence on attachment and relationship-building in childhood, and what you can do to make a change.
Attachments Are Formed Early On
Attachment patterns are formed almost immediately in childhood. The earliest experiences a child has with a caregiver can impact the way they view relationships for a lifetime. Not only that, it can affect their attachments. Attachments are about more than just healthy relationships. They can impact a person’s stress levels, the way they cope with adversity, and more.
There are typically three types of attachment styles people refer to when talking about childhood bonding — secure attachment, insecure avoidant attachment, and insecure ambivalent attachment.
Ideally, every child would have a secure attachment with a caregiver who meets their physical and emotional needs. Unfortunately, children who experience trauma often develop insecure attachments.
How Trauma Creates Insecure Attachment
A caregiver who is abusive, unavailable, or avoidant can lead to trauma in a young child’s life. As adults, we tend to view traumatic experiences as huge events. But, for a child, it can be something as small as having a caregiver who doesn’t treat them properly.
Trauma caused by maltreatment from caregivers can lead to insecure attachments early on in life. Kids with severe trauma histories of abuse or neglect can go so far as to disrupt their natural development.
Children who experience trauma from insecure attachment might experience a lot of stress. They can have cognition issues, difficulties learning, and poor emotional regulation. It’s not uncommon for children with insecure attachments to have behavioral issues and negative views of themselves or others.
The trauma caused by insecure attachment can also lead to fear. Poor attachment can cause children to feel helpless and scared, and those are issues that can last a lifetime. As adults, insecure attachment trauma can lead to a general distrust of others and increased stress.
Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adults
It can sometimes be difficult to go back and determine if you experienced attachment trauma as a child. Many adults who went through it try to dissociate or “push down” those memories as a coping mechanism.
However, things like depression, anxiety, and sleeping troubles are common in adults who have experienced childhood trauma.
Adults who dealt with attachment issues as children can also have dysfunctional relationships, abandonment issues, and might struggle with emotional regulation. If you developed an insecure attachment as a child, it would be perfectly understandable for you to deal with the symptoms of PTSD years later.
What Can You Do?
When you don’t learn how to build healthy relationships as a child, it affects you for years to come.
Keep in mind, however, that any trauma you experienced as a child that affected your attachment is not your fault. It’s easy for trauma survivors to feel guilt and shame, even if they aren’t always sure where it stems from.
You don’t have to live the rest of your life as a product of the trauma you experienced. The first step is recognizing what happened, so you can start to move forward. Don’t hesitate to contact us for help. By processing your attachment issues and learning healthy ways of coping, you can enjoy a less stressful future and happier, healthier relationships.