When you’re single, it’s easy to think about your “wish list” for a relationship. Maybe you have some kind of ideal person in mind, or maybe you just daydream about the kind of partnership that would make you happy.
While those fantasies are fine, it’s important to tune into what you really want in a relationship. We often let our dreams get the best of us and create unrealistic expectations that could end up leaving us disappointed.
So, how do you tap into what you really want from a relationship? Let’s take a closer look at some key points that can make a big difference.
Understand Who You Are
Before you know what you want in a relationship, it’s essential to have a deeply rooted understanding of who you are. What are your likes and dislikes? What are your core values? Who are you when you’re not in a relationship?
You might think you know what you “like” in another person, but if you don’t truly understand yourself, it’s going to be harder to jump into a healthy, fulfilling partnership with someone.
That doesn’t mean you need to go on some long spiritual journey to “find” yourself. Rather, consider taking some time to be alone. Start journaling. Do things you think you might enjoy and don’t be afraid to take on new adventures. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself.
Don’t Compromise Your Values
Think about why some of your previous relationships haven’t worked out. Often, relationships fail due to mismatched values.
You might think it’s easy to overlook those things, at first. For a while, you might be able to get along with someone, even if you don’t have the same core beliefs or desires in life. However, there will come a time when your values will clash.
You shouldn’t have to compromise your values to be with someone else. When you’re on your journey of self-discovery and learning more about who you really are, consider writing down your concrete values. What do you truly believe, and how do you want your partner to line up with those beliefs?
Lean On Your Support System
If you’re having trouble tuning into what you really want in a relationship, talk to the people who know and love you. They might be able to give you some insight about yourself or about your past relationships that you didn’t realize. They might also help you identify some red flags you’ve struggled with in the past.
Talking to the people in your life can sometimes be a slippery slope. People love to give advice, and it’s usually from the right place. But, don’t rely solely on what others say. If you’re “stuck”, friends and family can be a big help in opening your eyes to things, but don’t let them dictate the future of your relationships.
Take Your Time
It’s going to be very difficult to tune into what you really want (and need) from a relationship if you’re constantly focused on finding a partner.
Take your time when it comes to dating. For some, that might mean letting things happen naturally and potentially meeting someone when you least expect it. For others, it could mean that you start dating someone, but you make it clear that you want things to move slowly.
When relationships begin, it’s easy to feel those excited “butterflies”. Those feelings can often cloud your judgment and make you overlook red flags and other issues that could impact the relationship later on.
Your ideal relationship and partner are out there. Take your time when it comes to learning more about yourself. Find contentment with who you are, and you’ll be better equipped to know what you want and deserve in the future. If you want to explore more about yourself, Contact Us.