What is Delayed Grief?

Man experiencing griefEveryone experiences grief at some point. It could be over the loss of a loved one, a family pet, or even after getting let go from a job.

Grief impacts everyone differently, and there’s no ideal timeline for getting through the stages – as long as you’re getting through them.

However, not everyone experiences the effects of grief right away.

Delayed grief (a.k.a. complicated grief) is when someone pushes away their initial reaction or feelings rather than dealing with the reality of a loss right away.

Unfortunately, pushing your feelings down – no matter how hard they are to face – isn’t a permanent solution. Emotions always eventually demand to be felt. With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at delayed grief, what it looks like, and how to work through it.

What Causes Delayed Grief?

There’s no one “trigger” associated with delayed grief. Some people simply have a harder time than others dealing with a loss. However, there are certain factors that can increase the likelihood of this delay. Some of those risk factors include:

  • The sudden or unexpected death of a loved one
  • The death of a child
  • Life stressors
  • Lack of a support system

You might also experience delayed grief because of external factors. Maybe you have to return to your professional or personal obligations immediately after a loss. You have to get yourself in a mindset to “get through it,” so you can focus on your responsibilities, rather than your emotions.

No matter the cause, delayed grief can often present itself when you have more time on your hands, or when you’re free to be alone with your thoughts. If you’ve been “distracting” yourself for years, having that time to work through your emotions can cause the grieving process to begin – even years after a loss.

What Are the Symptoms?

Because grief looks different for everyone, the symptoms of delayed grief can vary, too. However, some of the most common physical and emotional signs of delayed grief include frequent memories of the loss, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and changes in eating and sleeping habits.

You might also experience changes in your mood or the way you feel. It’s not uncommon to feel anger, anxiety, apathy, or loneliness. You might even start to experience feelings of longing, as you think about the past and wish for things to be different.

How Can You Deal With Delayed Grief?

Again, there is no timeline when it comes to getting through the grieving process. Even if you’re dealing with grief today from something that happened years ago, it’s never too late to start healing and moving forward.

Start by acknowledging what happened and how you feel about it. While it might seem like a simple task, it’s often one of the most challenging because it requires you to face your feelings head-on.

It’s also important to practice self-care through the grieving process, no matter when it occurs. Be kind to yourself, and do things that reduce your stress levels and make you feel relaxed. But, don’t isolate yourself from others or withdraw from the people you love. Now, more than ever, it’s essential to lean on your support system. Talk to people you trust and rely on their support to get you through the tougher days.

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help.

Grief can be overwhelming. Even if it’s been a long time since your loss occurred, delayed grief can cause the wounds to feel fresh and incredibly painful. You don’t have to go through that on your own.

If you’re experiencing delayed grief and struggling with how to handle your emotions, feel free to Contact Us today. Together, we’ll work through those stages of grief, so you can move forward in healthy, effective ways.