Sex isn’t the most important thing in a healthy partnership. There’s also no “ideal” situation when it comes to how often you should be having sex or what your relationship’s sex life should look like. It’s different for every couple, and it’s about finding what works for you and your partner.
But, most people will agree that a completely sexless partnership typically indicates there’s a problem.
A lack of sex is rarely about anything physical. While things like erectile dysfunction, hormones or low libido can come into play, if your partnership has suddenly become sexless, it’s likely that there are underlying issues causing the problem.
Thankfully, there are things you can do to repair a sexless partnership. Let’s dig a little deeper into how you can start the healing process.
Getting to the Root Cause
Again, a sexless partnership is typically a sign that something bigger is going on beneath the surface. The best thing you can do to get to the bottom of the issue is to break things down with your partner.
There’s really no denying things when you’re not having sex. So, although it might be uncomfortable to talk about, you really have to be willing to open up, be vulnerable, and address the problem with your partner. Maybe you already know what it is, or maybe it’s something you’ll need to figure out together.
Whatever the case, commit yourself to getting to the bottom of it. Choose to openly communicate and be an active listener. You might be surprised by how much effective communication makes an instant difference in your relationship.
Determine Where You Are
One of the biggest mistakes people make when they’re struggling with a sexless partnership is trying to do things the way they used to.
You’re not the same people you were ten years ago. People’s needs and wants change, and that’s okay. If you remained stagnant in your sex life for years, you might have reached a point where you just didn’t want to do it anymore.
If that’s the case, focus on the future with your partner. Talk about where you are now, what your needs and wants really are, and what you see for your future as an individual and in your partnership. It’s essential to reconnect with your partner at different stages of life. Doing so will help you realize how much your desires have changed, and how much theirs have changed, too.
Build Intimacy Outside of the Bedroom
Far too many people think that intimacy automatically means sex. Unfortunately, when you only practice intimacy with your partner in the bedroom, you’ll end up missing out on some of the greatest intimate possibilities any relationship could have.
One of the best ways to reignite your sex life is to be intimate without expecting or even thinking about sex. Hold your partner’s hand. Leave them a note in their coat pocket. Kiss them intentionally every morning without distractions.
These small acts of intimacy build up over time. Not only do they foster love, care, and devotion, but they’ll get your wheels turning and can eventually lead to an increased desire for sex.
You don’t have to compare yourself or your sex life to anyone else. Don’t read articles about how often you should be having sex. Don’t listen to your friends and family as they try to judge your relationship. Instead, focus on the overall health of your partnership. Communicate with your partner. When you do, everything else is more likely to start falling into place. If you need help with these issues, feel free to Contact Us for more information.