Communication is essential to every relationship — including familial ones. If you feel like you have unhealthy or uneasy family dynamics, communication issues could be the problem.
Healthy communication allows you to convey your thoughts and opinions, but it also gives you the opportunity to express your needs and wants. When communication is weak within your family dynamics, it opens the door to uncertainty, confusion, assumptions, and even hurt.
So, what can you do to improve familial communication? How can you strengthen your relationship with your family members by opening up and expecting the same in return?
Why Is Communication So Important?
Again, communication is the cornerstone of every relationship. Everyone wants to feel heard and understood. Far too often, familial relationships are weakened because we assume they’ll be there no matter what.
So, you might not put in the “work” with your family members the way you would with someone else. This attitude can weaken your familial relationships and even create problems.
In addition to keeping your family dynamics healthy, communication can also help you get to know your family better. It’s not fair to assume you’re close with family members just because of the titles you share. Communication can help you connect and form strong relationships with your family.
Without communication, you’re less likely to feel heard and understood. There might be more unresolved issues within your family that can lead to unhealthy dynamics. A lack of communication can dissolve trust, and even create rifts within a family that can last for years.
Roadblocks of Communication
There are many things that can get in the way of healthy communication. Assumptions are often the worst culprit. When you think you already know everything about your family members, you’re less likely to ask questions about their thoughts, needs, and wants. You’re also less likely to open up about your own.
A lack of listening can also be a problem. When you’re so focused on what you want to say that you only hear half of what someone else is saying, you’ll never get the full picture.
Jumping around from topic to topic is also a common communication roadblock. While it’s not always easy to stick to the subject at hand, it’s important to do so until any issues get resolved.
How to Practice Better Communication
If you want to strengthen your familial relationships, start by improving your communication efforts. Remember that communication is a two-way street. One of the best things you can do to boost communication is to practice active listening. That means you don’t just hear what a family member has to say — you truly listen. Ask questions if you’re unclear, use nonverbal communication to let them know you’re engaged, and stay focused on the subject. When you practice active listening, you’re likely to get the same in return.
Next, use neutral language and focus on “I” statements. Don’t speak in generalities if there’s a problem. Tell your family exactly how you feel as clearly and concisely as possible. Doing so will make it easier to stay on that subject, rather than talking about issues from the past or other things that might be going on now.
Finally, don’t let things settle inside of you. Emotions always demand to be felt, whether they’re positive or negative. Let your family members know you want to talk, and don’t be afraid to show vulnerability. It can be scary, at first. But, when you’re willing to open up, others are likely to follow.
If you need help improving your communication efforts with your family, consider working with a therapist. Therapy can help you better understand your thoughts and emotions, so you’ll have an easier time expressing them with confidence. Contact us to learn more.