It’s something so many women don’t talk about enough, but so many struggle with—reaching an orgasm. While you don’t necessarily have to reach an orgasm to have a fulfilling, satisfying sexual experience, it’s something that can take your intimacy to new heights.
Plus, if you consistently can’t climax, you might start to doubt yourself. Your self-esteem could struggle. You might wonder if you’re doing something wrong, or you might even consider that there are problems with you or your partner.
There are real, medical reasons why some women can’t orgasm. It’s essential to talk to your doctor about your concerns so you can effectively rule out those physical issues. However, if you know you have ruled out any biological concerns and you still can’t climax, there could be something going on with your mental and/or emotional health.
Let’s take a look at some possible reasons why you can’t reach an orgasm and what you can do to potentially change your experience.
High Anxiety
One of the most common reasons why many women struggle to have an orgasm is anxiety. Intrusive thoughts can take you out of the moment and make it difficult for your mind and body to fully connect.
There are plenty of social narratives and even stigmas that can get into your head during sex or masturbation. You might be worried about performance, self-esteem, or even guilt.
Your anxiety might not be linked to your sex life at all. If you struggle with anxiety in other areas of your life, it’s not uncommon for those thoughts to creep in no matter what you’re doing—including trying to enjoy a sexual experience.
Getting to the root of your anxiety can be helpful in improving your overall satisfaction. If it’s anxiety related to intercourse or sexual activity, consider talking to your partner about your concerns so you can work together to come up with a plan and/or solution.
A Lack of Control
In general, you might not feel like you’re in control of a lot of things. Maybe you deal with a stressful schedule, a demanding job, and everyone always “expects” something from you. So, you do what you can to focus on the things you can control and try to limit the things that aren’t within your grasp.
As a result, you could be holding yourself back from reaching an orgasm without really realizing it.
An orgasm is, for all intents and purposes, a lack of control. You have to be willing to “let go” to fully experience it and let it take over your body. While that might sound great, it can also be difficult if you have a hard time handing over control. That’s true even when it comes to handing over control to your own body.
Low Self-Esteem
Not being able to reach an orgasm can impact your confidence and self-esteem. It shouldn’t, since only about 10% of women can orgasm easily. However, if you feel like it’s something you “have” to do or even something you really want, not being able to can make you feel like less than. It might even make you feel less sexy around your partner.
That creates a vicious cycle. It can make sex seem more like a chore or something you’re obligated to do, rather than something you want to enjoy.
Do any of these issues sound familiar? Are you worried your mental well-being might be affecting your ability to reach an orgasm? First, understand that you’re not alone. The good news? Most of these issues can be helped with the right support.
Feel free to reach out, Contact Us and set up an appointment as soon as you’re comfortable with it. Together, we’ll talk about why you might be having difficulties reaching an orgasm. We’ll also dig into any underlying issues that could be affecting you, and how you can work through those issues to eventually experience the satisfaction you desire (and deserve!).