Most people think of children as being naturally social. It’s common to see kids comfortably interacting with each other, making new friends, and accepting one another right away.
But, that’s not the case for every child.
Kids can experience social anxiety just as easily as adults. As a parent, it’s important to recognize the signs of social anxiety in children, so you can help your child work through it.
While it’s not easy to see your child shy away from social relationships, it doesn’t have to be that way forever.
Let’s dig deeper into how you can help your child if they’re struggling with social anxiety.
Notice the Signs
The first step in helping your child is to recognize what they’re going through. Social anxiety can often be misdiagnosed in children as shyness or a “phase” they will get through. It’s important that you be their advocate when you know something is wrong. Having a strong knowledge of the common symptoms can make that easier. They include:
- Clinging to familiar people
- Throwing tantrums when faced with social situations
- Racing heart
- Shaky voice
- Difficulty speaking to others
Those symptoms seem pretty different from a child who is just “shy”, right? By paying attention to your child’s responses and behaviors in social situations, you will quickly get a better understanding of what they’re dealing with and how they might be struggling.
Connect With Your Child
Once you recognize your child is dealing with social anxiety, try to connect with them. Validate their feelings and let them know they are seen and heard.
Consider using the PACE model to connect with your child; Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. Showing your child that you are calm and willing to help them can make a big difference in how they feel.
Teach Them Coping Techniques
It’s okay to talk to your child about what social anxiety is. It will let them know you have a greater understanding of what they’re dealing with, but it will also help them trust you when you work on them with different coping techniques.
One of the best ways to help your child learn to cope is to be a model. Tell them when you’re nervous about something. Do that thing in front of them, showing them you can overcome those fears without anything bad happening.
Finally, talk to them about the experience. Tell them how you felt throughout it, and how it felt to go through with it. When your child sees you have your own ways to help yourself cope, they’ll want to copy you and work through their fears, too.
Coping techniques can include everything from starting small in social situations to practicing deep breathing. Don’t be afraid to try different things so you can find out what works best for your child.
Prepare for the Unknown
Life is full of unexpected situations. The current state of the world is filled with so much uncertainty, it can be difficult for people without anxieties to cope, let alone young children who struggle.
So, it’s important to prepare your child for the unexpected.
When you know a stressful social situation is coming, talk to them about it beforehand. Develop a plan with them, and go over coping techniques like deep breathing, or the “5-4-3-2-1” technique.
When you make these things routine for expected situations, your child can use them when the unexpected occurs. As a parent, you need to learn when to step in and when to step back. It’s okay to let your child experience the unknown, but make sure you’re watching how they respond. You might find that as you continue to work with them, you’ll have to step in less frequently.
If your child is struggling with social anxiety and you want more information on how to help, feel free to contact me.