Planning a wedding might feel a little overwhelming at times. But it’s also exciting and can be a lot of fun. When the day finally arrives, all of your planning and preparation pays off. You’re marrying the person you love. Everything is beautiful. The food is delicious, and the dancing goes on all night.
Then what?
Post-wedding blues might not happen immediately after you say “I do,” but it’s not uncommon for people to start feeling depressed as married life kicks in and the excitement of the wedding day is gone.
Does it mean your marriage is doomed from the start? No, but it’s important to understand depression after marriage and know what you can do to fight back against the post-wedding blues.
Feeling Down After the Big Day
As the days turn into weeks following your wedding, there are several factors that could be playing a role in your depression.
First, you might start to think you don’t have anything fun or exciting to look forward to. Wedding planning takes a lot of time and effort, but it’s generally exciting. When it’s over, you don’t have anything left to plan. That might leave you with a void and cause you to feel sad.
Research has shown that major life transitions can also contribute to depression. Maybe you and your spouse are living together for the first time. Maybe you had to move somewhere new. Those are big, sudden changes, and they can cause you to experience deep sadness.
Grieving Your Old Life
No matter how much you love your spouse and the life you’re creating together, it’s normal to grieve the life you had before. There are certain perks to being single and living on your own. If you have been on your own for a long time and now you’re getting used to married life, there are certain things you might miss about your past.
Maybe you aren’t able to eat takeout on your couch as often as you used to, and it’s a memory you miss. Things that might seem “silly” really aren’t. It’s okay to grieve aspects of your old lifestyle, no matter how much you love your new one.
Learning to Live With Each Other
Again, no matter how much you love your spouse, living with someone full-time can be difficult. That’s especially true if you didn’t live together before getting married. There are a lot of changes to get used to.
Some people say you don’t really “know” someone until you live with them. Whether that’s true or not, you’re likely to learn new things about your partner that you might not have known while you were dating. That includes daily living habits and routines. You’ll need to get used to those habits and routines and learn how to adjust your own routines to complement each other.
Relationships require compromise. But, that doesn’t mean you should give up the things that are important to you.
Take the time to discuss your core values and the things you want and need in your relationship. You might have already done that at some point, but it needs to be an ongoing conversation. People change and needs change. By regularly communicating those things throughout your marriage, you’re going to have an easier time living with each other and finding happiness.
Talk to Someone
If you still can’t seem to shake the post-wedding blues, consider working with a mental health professional. Therapy can help you get to the root of your depression. Once you understand exactly where it’s coming from, you can work on symptom management and eventually overcome those thoughts of extreme sadness. If you want to learn more you can schedule a free 15-minute consultation for couples counseling.