Is Your Sex Life Causing You To Feel Ashamed Or Unsatisfied?
Are you curious about introducing new experiences into your relationship and/or sex life? Do you have feelings of shame or embarrassment preventing you from fully exploring your sexuality? Or are you the parent of a teenager who has developed risky sexual behaviors and in need of guidance?
You may be feeling dissatisfied with your sex life. It could be that your desires differ from those of your partner(s), or you struggle to communicate your needs in the bedroom. You may be looking to include elements of kink, BDSM, and other fetishes in your sex life, or perhaps you’re interested in a polyamorous relationship and/or adding another partner to the mix. In this case, you may be a couple seeking the perspective of a sex therapist who can offer guidance about healthy communication and boundary-setting in counseling.
Perhaps you’re looking for help because you struggle with having sex altogether. You may experience erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, premature ejaculation, or an inability to orgasm, or maybe you feel emotionally unable to have sex. An instance of trauma may have resulted in sexual intimacy issues or difficulties connecting on a physical level.
Alternatively, you could be the parent of a teenager who has begun experimenting with sex. You may be concerned about their behaviors or think they might respond better to the topic of sex with a trained and objective therapist. You are probably worried about your child’s sexual health and safety, wanting to ensure that they gain the knowledge and emotional awareness needed to make good choices.
Sex is deeply nuanced and highly personal, affecting different people in a variety of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual ways. Whether you’re exploring your desires, understanding your past, or expanding your sense of intimacy, sex therapy can help you foster a new awareness and acceptance of yourself.
There Is No Such Thing As “Normal” Sex
Although sex is a widespread human experience and visible in just about every form of media—from advertising to art to film and TV—we are nevertheless not great at talking about it as a society. We discuss sex with either a tone of raunchiness and scandal or from an overly modest point-of-view that often stems back to puritanical religious standards. Instead of approaching sexuality from the perspective of mental/physical health and curiosity, we tend to infuse the topic with a sense of shame, humiliation, and taboo… and we’ve made it very heteronormative along the way.
When the act of “sex” was defined in the nineteenth century, the description was limited only to include one man and one woman, engaging in missionary vaginal intercourse and climaxing simultaneously. So that doesn’t leave much room for those of us who veer from this narrow definition. Therefore, if we have fetishes or other “unconventional” desires, we can begin to feel like something is wrong with us for wanting to introduce kinky elements into our sex lives.
But the truth is that there is no such thing as “normal” sex—everyone experiences different turn-ons and pleasure points. Moreover, those of us who are sexually active will likely feel dissatisfied at some point in our sex lives, making it imperative to normalize sex and develop effective communication around our erotic desires.
There are a lot of myths and misconceptions that need to be dispelled—starting with the idea that there is something wrong or abnormal about your sexuality. In therapy, you can begin the process of untangling negative self-beliefs and enhancing your sex life to be as healthy and fulfilling as possible.
Sex Therapy Allows You To Clarify And Communicate Your Erotic Wants And Needs
While sex has been elemental to the human experience since the dawn of time, scientific research on sexuality is only relatively recent. At Serenity Experiential Family Therapy Center, our clinicians draw from current, sex-positive studies to inform an empathetic, nonjudgmental approach to sex counseling so that you can increase your self-awareness and sexual satisfaction.
Beginning with an introductory assessment, your therapist will work to understand your perspective, history, thoughts, and feelings about sex. This session will help your therapist collaborate with you on goals for sex therapy and develop a tailored approach to counseling. If you attend sex therapy as a couple, your therapist will perform assessments with you separately as individuals before reconvening in ongoing sessions together.
Throughout counseling, you’ll gain insight into the elements keeping you dissatisfied in your sex life—whether they’re physical challenges like vaginismus or erectile dysfunction, or emotional issues, including trauma from your past that has led to problems with sexual intimacy. As we create a clearer picture of what your sexuality looks like—and how it works—you’ll be poised to find more acceptance and enjoyment in your sex life.
Once you have a deeper understanding of your eroticism, you will be better prepared to assert your needs with your partner(s). And if you’re a couple, you’ll likely find that sex therapy can give you the skills to communicate effectively, explore curiosities in a healthy way, and increase a sense of mutual trust in your relationship.
Our therapists are highly trained professionals who understand that sex isn’t just about the act—it’s about an exchange of pleasure, acceptance, and love. And we are well-versed in the issues of anxiety, depression, and trauma that often coincide with feelings of dissatisfaction and negative self-beliefs. We see the whole person in sex therapy, approaching your desires from a place of emotional health rather than judgment so that you can have a more fulfilling and pleasurable sex life.
Maybe you’re considering sex counseling, but you still have some questions…
I’ve sought counseling before for this issue, what makes sex therapy at Serenity different?
The vast majority of therapists lack specialized training in issues of sexuality. Moreover, many sex therapists who have specialized training often view their clients’ issues from a problematic lens that seeks to pathologize or problematize certain sexual behaviors.
Our clinicians have advanced training in sex therapy and maintain a passion for providing quality, evidence-based counseling to our clients. We are sex-positive therapists who create a safe space that allows our clients to feel secure exploring, understanding, and growing into their sexuality. Judgment and shame have no place here.
As a sex therapist, do you teach me to have sex? Or do you have sex with your clients?
Absolutely not. Sex therapy happens in a professional, comfortable environment. And though we do talk about the act of sex in counseling, the main goal of sex therapy is to equip you with the tools to discover more about your sexuality through conversation, psychoeducation, discussion, and reflection.
I have a unique situation – can you help?
Whether you’re curious to explore sexual kinks or desires, in need of processing past sexual experiences, or a parent of a teen who is engaging in risky or unhealthy sexual behaviors, the sex therapists at Serenity Experiential Family Therapy Center can help. We are highly trained clinicians who remain up to date on the latest research and methodologies to inform our sex-positive approach to counseling. We are confident that we can provide you with quality, tailored care. If our clinicians are not suited to meet your specific needs, we can provide you with resources that will.
You Deserve Pleasure, Acceptance, And Healing
If you’re dissatisfied with your sex life or struggle with physical or emotional sexual intimacy issues, the sex therapists at Serenity Experiential Family Therapy Center can help you create a roadmap to a more pleasurable and fulfilling sex life. Please contact us to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation or to find out more about how sex therapy can help.